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However, when it came, it captured his/her heart and they fell in love with someone else.If you suspect your spouse of having an affair, take the Affair Test after reading this article to get a good idea if your fears are justified.They would look deeper into their hearts to see that their beliefs and values are part of their very identity and realize that to live in contradiction to them would lead them to become someone quite different than they were.They would admit that there is never a “happily ever after” and that leaving one relationship for another is trading one set of problems for another.Your desire is (There may be an exception to that if you feel that your spouse has been unkind or hurtful.If so, that degree of negativity toward your spouse probably increased its intensity after your affair began.) You have four potential paths before you: 1. Short-term consequences and long-term consequences. If you choose short-term, you may decide to end your marriage for your lover.Underlying vulnerabilities very likely made the new relationship possible.Highly revered marriage researcher John Gottman writes in his book …many clinicians…have been quick to point out that ‘affairs involve sex, but sex is usually not the purpose of the affair’…In fact, most clinicians who have written in this area report that affairs are usually about seeking friendship, support, understanding, and validation…they are about getting the acceptance that is missing in the marriage.” My work with thousands of married couples in crisis indicates that this is exactly the case.
It may be difficult for you to know exactly how you got into this situation.
You’re already in what some refer to as an emotional affair.
However, once you fell in love with someone else other than your spouse, things got rather intense.
Some are honest enough with themselves that they know step-by-step how everything came to be as it is now.
Others have more difficulty, their mind confused because what they are doing is so contrary to what they believe and value. Others blame it on their spouse’s actions or lack of actions.
Our success rate over the last decade is more than 75% for those who attend our workshop in Nashville, TN.