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You are a nice guy and I think you would like it here.
With this new money your sending me, I'd love buy a drink at Flash Dancers (a fine eating establishment located just off the interstate). Meeting Agnus was the best thing that has ever happened to me until now. Anyway Albert, let me know if you can send a check and I will tell you where to send it.
" Then he would tell me that he was going to take a hit out on me through Jenny Craig.
He use to pick up the phone and pretend he was talking to her. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT AND CONCERNED IN YOUR GREAT ADVICE AND I THINK THAT OPTION ONE IS NEEDED AND YOU HAVE TO KEEP THIS BUSINESS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL.
IN RECENT YEARS THE ANNAUL REVENUE OF OUR BANK HAS EXCEEDED TO US0,000,000.00 (TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) AND MY RESPONSIBITY IS FOR ME TO MAINTAIN ADEQUATE MONETARY INTERNAL CONTROL, CONTROLLING THE BANK CASH POSITION, BUDGETTING AND FOR THE PREPARATION OF ACCOUNTING RECORDS AND FINANCIAL STATEMENT.
THE NUMBER OF CAPITAL SHARES WHICH HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR THE YEAR 2002 IS UNDER MY JURISDICTION IS US,000,000.00 AND THE OUTSTANDING SHARE THAT IS PRESENTLY UNDER MY CONTROL AND SUPERVISION IS US,000,000.00 ( FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS).
Is it possible to have a check sent to me directly?
I would then use this check to open a bank account (Key Bank has free checking for a limited time so please hurry). I have never been good with money so you can only imagine how happy I got when I read your email. I know you said this is confidential but I had to share it with my friend Brad Fairyman.
Brad suggested that I get some type of picture of you or something, just so I know you're real. (Try not to be laying down in the picture, my wife might get the wrong idea). Please be patient with me because I want to help you. Is being a CHIEF ACCOUNTING OFFICER a hobby for you? If you can't do option 2, then we will definitely be going with option #1 because the last thing we need is a representative from the Humane Society on our tail.
THIS IS TOP BANK SECRET THAT YOU MUST KNOW THAT AS MY TRUSTED FOREIGN PARTNER. I will also refer to my wife Agnus as Elle Mac Pherson. I have five suggestions if you don't have anything in mind: If you like one of those names, let me know ASAP. I'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about my "family issues", but I can't help it. Elle Mac Pherson gets lonely and says I'm "neglectful". You see, I love my wife, but I have to keep it real, you know...straight thuggin'. I have another problem that I need your expert advice on. He's threatening to take this to the FBI, CIA, Humane Society and the NCAA if we don't make him a partner. Don't ask me why, you're just going to have to do it.
LET TRUST AND HONESTY BE OUR WATCH WORD THROUGHOUT THIS PENDING MUTUAL BENEFICIARY TRANSACTION THAT WILL BENEFIT BOTH PARTIES. I will never forget how special you made me feel when I read your email and you wrote, (and I quote): "I LOVE YOU". I tell her (in my best DMX voice): "Shut up bitch and go make me a sandwich! I looked up ticket cost on for a round-trip flight from Nigeria to Portland, OR and it's not going to be that bad.
She was so excited, she took me out to dinner at a restaurant called Roy Rogers. I'm not really good at money and am hoping to do it well. Plus she speaks English, Spanish, Ebonics, Sign Language, and Pig Latin.
Anyway, I've been so excited, but I'm kind of scared too. Personally, I think Fredthe is a beautiful name, so I would go with that. As I said before, I want to help you, but don't currently have a bank account. I TRUST YOU AND I KOWN YOU ARE A MAN OF INTERGRITY AND WE ARE GOING TO SHARE THE PERCENTAGE AS FOLLOWS 40% WILL BE FOR YOU THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WHILE 50% FOR ME AND 10% FOR TAX THAT WILL ARAISE DURING THE BUSINESS TRANSACTION. She is also a master of disguise if you two get in a bind, she can make you look exactly like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman.
MY 60% OF THE FUND WILL BE USE FOR INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY IN YOUR COUNTRY THAT WILL GENERATEMORE CAPITAL IN THE MERE FUTURE. YOU MUST MAKE THE PAYMENT OF US$4,500 DOLLARS TO MR JOHN OKEKE LAGOS NIGERIA BY WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER TODAY. As you can tell from the picture, he means business. If you disagree, will have to go with option number 2.